|Rank||Seltzerman 2nd Class|
Splinteazle was a seltzerman second class who was a member of the Wormstool garrison. A former naval man and shipmate to House-Major Thyssius Grystle. At some point in the past two of his front teeth were knocked out leaving him with a lisp, which along with his naval burr made him difficult to understand. Splinteazle had a male donkey known as Cuniculus or Rabbit on account of the donkey's large ears. Splinteazle and Rabbit accompanied Rossamünd Bookchild and Threnody on their rounds restocking the basements when the Battle of Wormstool began. Splinteazle was slain during the battle.